act20side

Dr. Kal'tsit once said that a true master of medicine can resolve most problems with her bare hands.

Did she now?

Well, I don't remember her exact words, but that's the gist I took from it. Alright, where to start...?

*gasp*!

Oh, she's awake. I haven't even gotten started yet.

Um... Are you alright?

Ugh, my head's still spinning...

Sorry, I think the two of us might've bumped into you earlier. Need me to inspect you?

What are you doing here?

Come again...?

How did you two find this place?

Mind if we ask for directions? Do you know if there's a magical underground city here, or something like that?

You came from the surface.

Weird thing to say. You didn't?

We heard something terrible was about to happen underground, so...

You've finally come, surface-dwellers.

'Naturally, those who come with chainsaw and axe in hand can only spell calamity for this pure garden.'

...... 'The beast of civilization finally sheds all pretense of hiding its razor-sharp fangs, baring its gigantic maw before us...'

I see, that makes sense. A wild beast with a huge mouth and razor-sharp teeth. Don't worry, I'll handle this.

Huh? No, that was a rhetorical flourish...

As long as the thing's less than ten meters wide, I'm confident I can take it down clean. Perfect timing too, since I've been itching to get a good workout!

Mind showing us the way, Miss Lupo? Is it over here?

Maybe it'll be faster if we keep jumping down.

Stop, surface-dwellers! The blood on you will...

Don't worry. I know how to control my strength so it's not going to splatter all over the place.

Zumama, ready for round two?

Right behind you.

Hold on tight, Miss Lupo.

You can trust Gavial. She's an expert when it comes to fighting.

Uh, actually, there's another way... Hey? Hey!!

Thank you, Tomimi. I'll definitely return the favor once we get back to Rhodes Island.

I-I'm not sure I make a very good lookout, but I'll give it my best shot!

Alright, time for a taste!

Hmm, currant mead has a rather strange bite to it, but...

M-Mr. Elysium!

Wh-What's wrong? Are our friends looking for us? You have to tell them I'm not drinking somebody else's liquor––

It's Mr. Stitch!

*huff*... Took me long enough to find you people.

Speaking of which, what's this guy doing here?

Yo, Stitch.

How many years has it been since we saw each other? How awful of you. I bet you haven't even gone to see my Great Aquapit?

Talk about timing though! Now that you're here, should we head down there together? The surfing area's amazing!

I wouldn't mind releasing the flow valve on the water slide while no one's looking, let you experience a true––

Thanks, but no thanks. I've got business to attend to.

Everyone, with me. If you're done enjoying yourselves here, it's time to get to work.

Stitch, why are you always in such a hurry? We've got all the time in the world, so why don't we––

You might have all the time in the world, but I don't. Unlike Design Representative Catch here, full of vim and vigor, I am an Oripathy sufferer with only a few years left.

Oh, sorry, that's not what I meant!

What I was trying to say is we ought to sit down and talk things through. Maybe resolve some of our old misunderstandings...

Listen, Catch.

If recognition is what you're after, you've already won the hearts of Zeruertza's citizens. My opinion doesn't matter.

If you're trying to cement your legacy, you might as well build a super water cannon or something, maybe even paint it red or pink. I won't stop you.

Just don't waste your breath on me. I'll never be able to compliment your... heh, 'architecture,' in good faith.

Let's go, surface-dwellers. I'll tell you all about my plans...

Wait, Stitch, hear me out first––

Let me offer a word of advice: stay away from me.

We have our own paths to follow.

Why don't we talk about that Super Water Cannon you just mentioned, when you have a minute. You've got me interested.

But, before that... Did any of you just hear something?

The merry band of drunkards must be doing something stupid again.

No, that's not it...

Wait, could it be from the dome...?

There's no way. Have some faith in the quality of my engineering, will you?

L-Look at that!

The feeling of freefall.

Wind rushes loudly past my ears.

Some weirdos at Rhodes Island can't seem to get enough of this sensation. Don't understand them at all.

As for me? There's only one reason I'd ever jump from a height like that: to solve a problem.

Fists, staves, or axes. Anything goes.

You solve a problem by finding the bad guy and beating him down. Nice and simple, right?

No matter what I'm facing––

Even if my axe breaks, my staff splits, and my hands can't make a fist anymore.

All that matters is I got it done.

Doesn't matter to me if there's an evil plot, wild beast, mushroom, natural disaster, or some other nasty thing!

I'll crush it!

Hey, Gavial, something doesn't seem quite right. Look down there.

Hmm?

Hey, don't make me repeat myself! Unhand me this instant!

Oh, sorry about that.

What the hell's all this? A waterfall? And a slide?

Yahoo!

Yo, Gavial, what took you so long?

Welcome to the Durins' Great Aquapit!

Huh...?

Waaah, Gavial, it's all my fault!

Tomimi!

So let me get this straight. There's no giant, horrible monster, and no fire or mushrooms raining from the sky?

Elysium called it a 'rhetorical device'...

I'm gonna go beat the shit out of him.

Well, what Tomimi said wasn't altogether false. The Durins are having a crisis of some sort.

Though it's not immediately obvious, that is what Mr. Stitch said.

There's a reason for what I do.

So, what kind of stunt are you uppity surface folks trying to pull here?!

You just broke into Zeruertza brandishing that huge axe, and now you're claiming to be helping the Durins?

What a joke. The Durin people are perfectly capable of solving their own problems. As if they'd ever ask for help from you high-and-mighty surface-dwellers.

What's more, all that filth and nastiness you carry on you is enough to besmirch our little patch of paradise down here!

Uhh, aren't you a Lupo? Aren't you also from the surface?

I've abandoned everything I was once up above. Now, I am only a citizen of Zeruertza.

Therefore, I believe I speak for all the citizens of Zeruertza when I ask you to begone from this city!

If you want to be stubborn about it, I don't mind kicking you out by other means.