Глава 8

Is somebody there?

...I know you're all here. You're not with the army. You haven't even broken a twig with your steps.

I mean you no harm. If you're not Infected, I'll leave you be, unless you need assistance...

D—don't come any closer!

Don't move! If you do, I'll shoot!

Ah.

She's—she's Infected! Sasha, my Arts can drive Infected away...!

You can't use your Arts!

Sasha...

G—get out of here already! We were just getting things from the mines... we don't want to kill anyone!

I'll shoot! You'll die!

Sasha... you—when you say that...

How long have you gone without eating?

Why do you care?!

We're in the vicinity of a militarized mine. You wouldn't dare light a fire.

...The way you shake makes me think of wheat being sifted.

*whine*...

Hmph.

Don't be scared.

Talulah grasps a branch with one hand.

Softly, gently, she hands this branch to the two children, and within it, small sparks dance out.

Ah...

You...

It's warmer, now, isn't it.

That's right, I really am Infected.

So that's how it happened.

That's how you found Sasha and Eno... they were never willing to talk about the past.

If we never found them, they would've certainly passed away.

Perhaps, ever since Patriot refuted me, it was the one bit of good I'd done.

So what's happened today, then?

...I was careless with my Arts during training, FrostNova's cloak was hung up nearby, and they spread to it. Now she's out for my life.

And you promised you'd help sew it back up?

To tell the truth, Alina...

Oh, whatever. Give it to me. Knowing you, I'm scared you'd sew yourself to it.

Don't you want to join our group? If we have your gift with words, there's a decently better chance I'll talk Patriot over.

I've told you before, Talulah... My Arts would be useless with the guerrillas.

I can stand the blood, but I don't want the initiative to harm people myself. You'll be facing much more than just the Infected Patrol Unit, soon enough.

I suppose if I had dragged you along... I'd have been bothering you too much.

Ah, you put it that way on purpose, didn't you?

No, I...

Don't remember wrong, now. It was I who wanted to go with you.

And up to now, it's been for one reason. It's because... Talulah, I feel like there's every chance you'd forget.

Forget what?

Forget just what it is you want to do.

I've been striving all this time for the future of the Infected.

That's not what you said, back at the very start.

Talulah, we all know people can change.

If bit by bit, we shake ourselves clean of all the things we've persevered with, or if we replace them with something new, then there's a certain point where we realize we just haven't persevered in anything, right?

In a constant battle and with things changing all the time, it's only natural I'd alter my policy. If rigor sets into our thinking, it could very well make us weaker.

And where'd that stubborn part of you go?

Do you want to prove that the Infected are just like normal people? Or do you want to prove that normal people are just like the Infected?

What's the difference?

If there's only Infected, then who's even a normal person? Would we want all people to catch Oripathy? Or to cut ourselves off completely from the normal people?

But if there were only normal people, no Infected... then the people who caught Oripathy would be normal people underneath, normal like the people who haven't.

Elders are just normal people, Ancients are just normal people, villagers who all know each other are normal people, and whoever's living in the cities should be normal people all the same.

Talulah, do you want to return to your family?

You're all my family.

No, we aren't.

If we cleared all this Oripathy off our skin... would we be able to go back home?

You and I are of a mind on this. We couldn't.

The tundra, and our lives, have completely changed us. The Infected already have no way of returning to their former lives.

Talulah, do you feel proud of yourself for being Infected now?

Why would you ask?

Because you can cast Arts without a staff? Because our lives are so fleetingly short? Because even though we've gone through so much hardship, we can still persevere and live on?

what reason would you choose?

I don't need to choose any, Alina.

I'm proud just to be an Infected. Because this world still hasn't killed me yet.

And for that matter, we don't need anything to cause us to pursue fairness. We should've been pursuing fairness in the first place, that's why.

And if the world won't give it, we'll just have to take it from it.

Then you really are brave.

You're not laughing at me, are you?

Of course not. How could I?

Mn, well... I feel they're all brave, too. All the people struggling against the fate that's been forced on us.

Then I'm sure you feel—

Hm.

Feel what?

That our fates are just rotten.

Well, obviously.

I don't feel that way, Talulah.

...That's another of your ironic remarks, Alina.

No... what I mean is, the fact I can sit here, talking with you, knowing we have our guards outside the village protecting us—fate has already been very kind to me.

Don't say that. Fate's a jealous one. Talking about those things is just tempting it to take them away.

But I don't believe in fate, Talulah.

Because you can change it?

Because I can't see it.

Talulah, what you can see, what you can touch, those are things you can rely on.

I can see the cloak I'm holding in my left hand. I can see the candlelight, and I can see the needle I'm holding in my right.

I can see the Infected children's smiles, and I can see the white smoke of vegetables, roasting fragrantly, wafting through the air.

I can see the snow melting, and I can see the two moons dancing spry in the clear night sky.

And then there's people who can't see even these.

Talulah, if there came a day when we all left you, would you still be able to fight on?

What do you mean?

It could always happen. If that time came, would you still feel it was worth it to stand against fate?

Would you possibly think, this is just too much? I just can't do anything anymore?

If Patriot's taught me anything, then one lesson comes to mind, from long ago at that.

I wouldn't bow my head.

It sneers at me, and I'll be certain to burn it to ash.

You're a blockhead, Talulah. That, or you're getting old.

Hey!

Only old people get to say that stuff without coming off as naive.