ctrail

The moment I ran out the tent, they fluttered right back to me.

Hehe... It was pretty much like right now.

Sure enough...

Little cloud...?

What is it, Mom?

Oh, nothing, let's just catch some sun with them.

Oh! Does this mean your paper's finished? Should I make a little extra for dinner to celebrate?

(Excited cheeps)

Err, not quite... Alright! It's enough with my editor breathing down my neck, don't need you joining in. And neither do you chickadees!

Am I not allowed to just take a simple walk...?

Pfft. Alright, Mom.

The light of the setting sun gradually takes on a vermilion hue, the two of them enveloped in the chirping of fowlbeasts.

The woman leads her daughter along by the hand. She has some things she desperately wants to ask, but she dares not broach.

Maybe she just forgot about it? She worries she will make her child remember.

Some questions will never be driven out of the heart once they take root. She knows as much.

She hopes her daughter will never have to face this aspect of life... especially not in this manner.

Claudia suddenly swaps the hand her mother is holding. She walks backwards, all so she can keep a constant eye on the fowlbeasts' every step.

Claudia.

Yeah, Mom?

Do you know the life cycle of this fowlbeast species?

Yeah, I have a rough idea, and I looked up some details the past few days.

Two or three weeks after hatching, they will have both the ability to fly and the psychological urge to do so. At latest, four weeks...

Yeah. I know, Mom.

Are you planning to...? No, never mind. It's nothing.

There's no reason we can't look after this little flock. No matter what happens, they can spend the rest of their lives here, happy as can be.

Mom, you're trying to say it's fine if they don't fly, right?

Why did you have to say it, Mom?

Claudia... there's something I've only just figured out—

I thought I figured it out a long time ago, but it's only now that I truly grasp how a single thing can have wildly different effects on different people.

I'm not sure why I've become so... cautious, all of a sudden.

Why I suddenly... fear these two words, words I've never feared before.

'Cheer up'... Will they become yet another burden on you?

Sometimes I feel like I'm under the influence of irrational emotion, whether hormones or nervous impulses, stress under extreme circumstances, behavioral patterns triggered by specific stimuli...

But nothing can explain—

Why I can't imagine seeing you suffer any more than you already have.

I'm an awful mother, aren't I? You're the one who actually got hurt, but here I am, moping.

Sorry, Claudia. Don't try to comfort me. That isn't your job.

Let's get back to our walk. It's been a long time since I've taken a stroll.

Claudia silently holds her mother's hand.

Will there be suffering...? But she has no time to continue this train of thought—

Two fowlbeasts come close to her, and one barges into the other. Startled, the second fowlbeast dives under her foot, almost getting stepped on. Claudia quickly lifts her foot and hops about on one leg.

The fowlbeast that was nearly trod upon flaps its wings a few times. Perhaps it's copying Claudia as she tries to balance on one foot?

For a moment, she believes it will start to fly—

But nothing happens. After a few flaps, it returns to jumping about like before, wanting to rub against her ankle.

(Reliant cheep)

Claudia lets go of her mother's hand, bending down to pick it up.

Perhaps because of the sudden change in elevation, the little fowlbeast begins to cower in fear. Claudia senses the warm ball of feathers trembling in her hand.

But eventually, it sticks its head back out, looking left, then right, then...

Is it looking up at the sky? Claudia wonders.

Mom.

She keeps looking at the fowlbeast in her hands.

Maybe I <i>will</i> end up suffering... All sorts of things could happen, after all.

But I'm not afraid of flying.

No matter what happens, I will never be afraid of flying.

Where's the hammer...? Man, did I really have to make this weld so tight...

Maybe a chisel... Mom?

You left the door open, so I just...

No, it's fine, I'm almost done anyway. Did the noise bother you?

Hardly. But it did feel like it had been a while since I saw you in here.

Well I <i>was</i> kinda busy... If I had stayed cooped up in my workshop the whole time, the fowlbeasts wouldn't have gotten enough sunlight, since they keep following me around.

Then why today all of a sudden...?

Making some preparations.

You mentioned it yourself last time. I've been examining the fowlbeasts these past few days, and they're at the age they should be flying. A bit late, even.

I could climb a tree and give them each a little push down, but that... that'd be way too dangerous!

In short... I need my flyer.

I applied too many customizations to it. To be honest, hardly half of them were actually helpful, and I'd have to take them off again.

What I need now is a flyer that's passed the test flights and can run a stable take-off sequence.

That's all.

...I see. Anything I can do to help?

Well, if you know where I put my hammer...

Of course I do, dear.

The weather is fine today. While there is still a touch of morning mist, it will soon be burned away by the sun's light.

There is a breeze. Claudia plucks some grass, then lets go. The blades fall, blown towards the southeast.

The fowlbeasts chirp as they follow her. Their 'mother' seems a bit different today...

But it's all the same to them. They jostle about behind her in blind imitation as usual.

She stops, and turns to face them. She asked her mother to stand at a distance, but before she sets off, she feels like she should... say something.

The fowlbeasts won't understand her, of course, but...

Hey, listen up...

Today, we're going to learn how to fly.

Honestly, I'm thinking that even if I wasn't around, you might learn by imitating other fowlbeasts, or maybe your natural urges would have you spreading your wings.

Even without an adult fowlbeast to guide you, you would still... fly all the same.

Once you can fly, you'll need to learn how to migrate. I'll take you into the typical migration path of your species.

Ideally, you'll already know how to fly when we find your flock. That way, you can keep up with them easily...

I'd really love to follow you on your migration, the full three years of it. There was a time... when it was my greatest wish.

But now I can't...

Never mind all that. Today, you... we just need to fly.

Claudia can sense the angle of the sunlight slowly rise, the temperature of the air and her body slowly rising with it.

The morning breeze blows past her. She begins to run, as if wanting to ride the wind.

She starts her flyer.

The earth whirls past below her, then behind her, slowly but steadily moving away from her.

She hears the flapping of wings behind her, louder and clearer than she imagined it would sound. Chirps turn into cries, vibrating as it passes through the air that lifts her. She can hear it all.

They climb, higher and higher.

She adjusts the nozzle angles and leans left and right. She knows she has traced a smooth curve up in the sky.

The soaring fowlbeasts behind her form a dotted line.

All her worries fall away, left behind on the ground to gradually shrink with everything else.

She simply enjoys the feeling of the wind, just like her very first flight.

As she passes by the shadow of a cloud, the question haunting her shadows her mind again.

'Despite everything, how long do you think you can keep flying like this?'

'Can you make it to the end?'

But it's strange.