nian

《千年一叹》

Shangshu, Great Cold, Year 507, light snow.

Yo, there you are.

We have an agreement.

One hundred whole days.

The snow on the way held one up by some nights. I would be here even earlier otherwise.

Must have what I wanted if you're back so soon, then?

It has been brought. The spiciest pepper in all of Shangshu.

Looks like you did a pretty good job. Can't have been easy finding something this fresh through months of snowstorms.

You've crouched hidden, sir, for years on years, and yet you know of blizzards in the human realm?

Oh? Sounds like you're getting at something.

Shangshu's mountains wind long and hard; there's always someplace to shelter from the winds.

One traveled all over the Three Mounts and Eighteen Peaks, visiting every household and inn, sampling one by one...

You know what, save the story. Kitchen's over that way, ingredients and utensils are all there. Get your cook on.

Very well.

Please have a taste, sir.

Oh? What, just simple shuizhu?

Even so, not many in Shangshu would afford this dish these days.

Neat. I'll give it a try.

What do you... think, sir?

Heh. It's a fundamental truth that the slices of meat in shuizhu all have to be equally thick, but you've even cut them all to identical form—I have to compliment the knifework. But...

Tsk. It's not got much flavor.

What...?

If this is the spiciest pepper you could find in all of Shangshu, then I'm sorry to say the sword can't go to you.

Sir—!

One doesn't seek your sword for her own selfish desires, but in petition for the common folk! I beg you—

It doesn't matter to me why you want the sword. If the chili's not good, then you're not having it.

I've had enough for today. Go on home.

But a moment, please.

The swordsman draws the dagger holstered on her side, and cuts open her wrist with not a pause of hesitation. Fresh, her carmine blood drips into the stew.

Why not see, sir... if the taste satisfies you now?

That's fun.

Take it.

It's...!

Shangshu's spiciest pepper, in exchange for Shangshu's finest blade. The fairest trade.

My thanks, sir!

Don't thank me, we made an agreement. That's business.

Something else on your mind?

You give me this sword so reassured, and don't even ask what I would use it for?

Doesn't matter to me if you cut firewood, heads or a mean deal at the pawn shop, so long as after a hundred days, you hand it back to me.

If I were to break it, carelessly...

If anything in this world could break that sword, I'd like to see it.

If...

If you've got regrets, you can just give it back to me now.

No... I swear on my soul. In a hundred days, I will return it as it came to me.

Alright, you can get out of my sight now. Down the mountain you go.

My thanks, sir. One has her greatest gratitude.

Interesting, seriously interesting...

'A fine sword... and fine technique.

Wrngh... huff... huff...

Marvelous, marvelous... that was truly beyond belief.

What don't you believe? That a blind woman could outspeed your 'Hat of the Ink's' blade, or that someone out there existed who could forge a sword to fell yours?

Ke Luxi of the Twilight... you've lost...

Uh-huh. Have I, now?

You said that to anyone who could produce a sword stronger than yours, you would tell how you make the 'Divine Meteonite.' Now, it's time you made good on your pledge.

Ha, I did say so... but I'm wondering. With a weapon that exceptional, do you even still need my formula?

The need is not mine, but the people of Shangshu's.

A Catastrophe passed through, and many are displaced. Shangshu is troubled. If they had the 'Divine Meteonite,' safe shelter from the elements could be built that much faster.

Sir K'o, our mutual contention is but a thing of the past. No further argument, nor hate, supersedes the common folk. A victor in this duel of swords is clear. In mind and heart, you ought to—

Hahahaha... trust a hero to worry over the nation and her people. Sorry to tell you...

You were too naive. There was never such a thing as 'Divine Meteonite'.

What did you say?!

Let me ask you a question now, about that sword. Did it come from Zuanjiang Peak? From a red-horned and red-eyed swordsmith?

How do you know—

Heh. I figured you'd only find one swordsmith in all of Yan with a fighting chance against me.

Ke Luxi, you did all this just to...

Correct. I just couldn't understand! My swordsmithing technique is apex, it's peak! So how does it still not beat hers?!

I've been tossing and turning this past decade, dying just to get my hands on a sword of her own making. I'll research it, engineer it, figure out just what kind of art went into making it!

I should really thank you for coming all this way, just to drop her sword off with us.

Now, be nice and give up the goods, and I'll let you go.

So be it...

This complete swindle isn't worth arguing with you over. If there never was any 'Divine Meteonite,' then I don't want to bother with you for even a second longer.

And yet this sword's time with me is borrowed. I must return it as agreed. I can't let you take it.

You don't know what's good for you... Forth!

What's a single fine swordswoman's limit? How many does it take? Ready!

(Gasp)

Still not willing to listen to me? Then you asked for it.

Fire—

Tsk. That's just embarrassing, Ke Luxi. If you love my swords so much, you could always say it to my face. Why waste all your effort, and this li'l lady's?

Just concede, and I'll give you all you could want. I can even sign the hilts for you.

Nian Huihan! What are you doing here?!

I finally caught a break for ten years. Now I have to find just who cares about me so much, and it turns out it's you after all.

Sir...

And you, you're honest to a fault. It's one sword, that's all. If they wanted it, you could've just given it to them. Why get yourself hurt in the process?

I told you, I swore on my soul...

Hah. I'll admit, that's just like you.

But first. Now that I'm here, no sword or its warrior should be trying any more funny business.

S... Seize them!

Heavenly forge—

So that's it? Let's pull out any last tricks we've got on the count of three.

...I truly do hate your lofty guts. Since the day I lost to you ten years ago, I've vowed in secret to make you pay the price for your arrogance.

What can you do? You put up some tepid competition for our line of work. I couldn't even muster much of my own drive.

Heheh... Nian Huihan, you're too conceited. You thought no one under Heaven could match you in the art of the forge, and so you fossilized.

This is the day you regret laying about for the last ten years! I'll show you the leaps and bounds my metallurgy has taken!

Come forth, Archbeast Mechanica!

(Screeching) Diiii—didiiii—

(Furious roaring) Diiiii—

C—Cut!!!

What? C'mon, we're just about to hit the climax.

Why does every single one of your movies have to end with a giant kaiju?!