story_philae_1_1

...You don't need to stay that far away, even if you didn't want my water.

Did you come from the desert? Do desert folks not drink water from the forest?

N-No, it's not that...

Hey, are you sure you don't need something, food and water? You look like you could collapse at any moment.

The long journey through the desert has been exhausting.

Head priest, little did I expect that I would face such trials when I decided to set out on my 'journey'.

Physical pain I could endure, but how do I answer questions like what this girl was asking me?

No, I'm fine... you'll get hurt.

What?

(Shakes head) I hurt the things that I touch...

Why? Are you a poison shaman?

No, it's not really poison... just something really troublesome...

Figured. You look more like a priest than a poison shaman. But your horn... you're sick.

Sick people need care.

Thank you... I just need some rest. I won't disturb you...

Alright... hey, you can come back for the water later if you're thirsty! The bugs haven't gotten to the water here yet!

I guess this is the furthest tree from the village.

Let me just pop my tent down here... phew.

Ugh, the path's so barren. I had to make half a ration portion last for days...

I should get some water later. I've been in control this whole way... I wouldn't dry the well up, right?

I wish I was like everyone else...

Maybe I'd be one of those who protect the living, if I didn't know these Arts and didn't have this evil power...

But why did the River of Life leave me on the side of the living?

Ugh, there were so many things that I couldn't figure out, even when I was at the temple. There are even more of these things now that I'm out here on my own.

I wish I was like everyone else, so that I wouldn't have to worry about this and that... phew...

I wondered all night if I was being too sentimental.

It's not like I never thought about how people might react when I first began my journey. I didn't come out here to make friends, head priest. I came to... find answers.

But my 'journey' doesn't have a clear goal. Is that how things are supposed to go?

Perhaps it was because of thirst, or hunger. Or perhaps it was the stone tablet I was clutching that made me think of the past, of everyone.

That night, like every lonely night on the journey, I mulled over the questions that came to me repeatedly. I put my arms around myself, and gradually fell asleep to the sound of leaves rustling in the night breeze.

The River of Life has been generous this year, head priest. It has been a long flood season.

This year's harvest will be a good one.

Wait, why does the River of Life continue to rise when it's already so high...?

Head priest! Something's not right with the river...

Forget the ritual! Get the people out of the temple! We need to get to higher ground, go up the hills!

You're still here?

Huh?

Did I wake you up? I didn't realize you were sleeping here. I thought you had left.

Oh, I saw you last night...

You remember me? I'm Aisha. Are you traveling? Where are you going?

...Uh, I'm Philae.

I... I don't actually know where I'm going.

How could you not know where you're going? Anyway, I would have warned you if I knew you were gonna spend the night in the forest.

What?

It's not safe in the forest, especially not for someone who's sick. There are locusts around.

Locusts?

Clack, clack.

Almost on cue, a strange sound came through the forest, rapid and fragmented.

It sounded as though something was carving wood open with sharp teeth. The sound was not particularly loud, but densely packed, like an eerie whisper that lingers in the ear.

Tsk. Those damned things are at it again.

Careful, they bite. Come with me to the village. Who knows when the next wave might come.

...Alright, I'll come with you first.

That sound just now... are those Originium locusts?

I remembered that I noticed the village yesterday because it seemed glimmer in the sunlight. It looked like an oasis in the desert to my dazed eyes.

I looked past Aisha's shoulder at the strange gleam that appeared in the forest.

Grey-white crystals began creeping up the branches, covering up the once-lush leaves. Bulging veins underneath the bark gradually grew, like some kind of lesion.

Several dead Originium locusts lay on the ground, covered in a thin layer of crystalline dust. They struck fear into my heart even without any sign of movement.

You ever seen it before? These bugs have been plaguing the ancestral forest for years.

They're no ordinary locusts. These evil things chew through steel, water sources, and the hearts of trees!

The locusts have been around for a while? Is there a way to drive them out?

We make pesticides in the village. I was spreading them in the forests just now.

We used to be able to kill plenty of bugs with it, but it doesn't work so well now...

Those things aren't afraid of fire. You can't chase them away, and they don't care if you're crying or praying.

Besides, we can't use fire in the ancestral forest... these trees are holy to our village, and we can't afford to accidentally burn them.

Ah, looks like the sunlight's getting brighter. I forgot to tell you last night, but it's not safe in the forest during the day. The village's this way. Keep up with me.

...The caravans all say that the ancestral forest looks like an emerald from a distance!

Besides, the ancestral forest used to be MUCH bigger than it is now! People wouldn't let their kids go into the forest on their own, because it's really easy to get lost.

Hehe, I was always a careless kid. The adults wouldn't let me out of their sight when I went into the forest with them, lest I do something to offend the ancestors and gods.

The ancestral forest watches over us, granting us food and water. We would not survive without its blessing...

But we hardly go into the forest anymore. There are Originium locusts about during the day, so we only go out at night.

Oh, but this path's safe, don't worry! I've walked it many times, and never encountered Originium locusts during the day.

(Whisper) Almost all the trees along the path are crystallized. The locusts got them... even the grass has wilted.

This area has been abandoned for a long time. It used to be stockbeast pastures, but the rocks that appeared out of the ground make it impossible for grass to grow.

People were forced to sell or kill their stockbeasts. I remember how the children cried for days...

How could this be... this place has been affected by Originium for so long...?

I looked down sadly at the lifeless twigs on the ground.

Poor things... they were choked to death by Originium crystals.

(Whisper) All things living should be allowed to live quietly under the sun, like how flowers bloom, how fruits become ripe, and how animals grow big... the Originium consumes it all.

They didn't even have the chance to refuse.

You're more sentimental than I thought. Are all priests like that?

I can see where you're coming from, though. It's the same for people in the village. It's not food that we're most worried about.

It's how the poor forest is being destroyed, and the living things that had been with us for so long are taken away, without even a chance to protect themselves.

(...If it was the power of healing that I had... could I restore the crystallized parts?)

(Or at least, alleviate the trees' pain.)

Why are you so far behind me? Keep up, we're almost there.

The crystallized trees... I'm not familiar with Originium locusts, but I've seen those crystals a lot.

The trees that we passed are dangerous. If you continue to live in this environment...

Hey, what's going on? Why is everyone outside?

The damage to the forest just keeps getting worse. We may not have enough food to last the year.

And we're running out of things to trade with the caravans...

I told you we should have increased the dosage of the pesticide! The amount we're using doesn't do anything!

It's a poison. Too much of it could harm the trees. The trees at the grove that I used to pick berries from have all died.

It was the locusts that did it, not the pesticide!

I don't even dare go near the berry trees these days. A couple of days ago I saw a nest of beastlings lying there. They weren't moving... my kid used to draw their pictures...

Friends... perhaps it's really time for us to leave.

The locusts have been getting worse each year. They'll devour the whole ancestral forest at this rate.

We tried asking nearby villages for help, but the locusts are so many and so fierce, attacking the people who came to help... no one wants to come anymore.

Wait, why are we talking about moving away?

Aisha! Wait—

And just abandon the ancestral forest? I'm not leaving. You want to leave, you can do it on your own.

I'll look for casters from other villages, other towns. There must be a way to kill those bugs and heal the sick trees!

Aisha? No... it's not so simple...

I've been out spreading pesticide since morning, going through the whole forest... there are still many healthy trees left!

I don't want our traditions to end with me either... but we need to find a way to survive.

Do you know how far the nearest water source is? Maybe we could survive the journey, but the children won't.

We stayed here because the ancestral forest is here, because our water source is here. How do we survive if we leave? Our lives depend on the forest.

If only there was another way...

—I was suddenly reminded of the River of Life.

I could see it even without closing my eyes.

As the villagers argued, the forest and the village became the temple, the river banks, the farmland, the source of life that I defended and revered.

We stood on top of the hill, gazing down at the wall of murky water surging through. It made the temple seem so small, so fragile.

I thought the wind-worn stones would survive the century under the scorching sun.

I never thought the flood would take them so easily, like cube sugars melting in coffee.

Now I stand before another village about to be swallowed by fate, listening to arguments so familiar they might as well have been from another dream.

I told myself to stay still. Don't interfere. There was nothing I could do to heal their ills.

But––

Traditions don't mean anything if there's nobody left to protect them.

I know a passing traveler like me shouldn't interfere with your village's matters.

But those crystals are very dangerous... they're going to spread, and it'll be too late by the time they start appearing near the houses!

Clack, clack.

I know you don't want to abandon your faith. But the forest bestowed its blessings so that you could live.

If you want... I could protect you on your way to finding another water source—

What are you saying, Philae? Why are you on the mayor's side?

This forest was an oasis that the gods promised us. Abandoning it means going back on our oath... that's what truly brings disaster!

Clack, clack.

No need to be hasty, Aisha. We're still discussing this.

You guys kept telling me to remember the legends of the forest and its blessings. It's you who's forgotten them, isn't it?

Wait, that's...!

Clack, clack.

Perhaps I had let my awareness as a guardian slip, and allowed myself to wallow in sentimentality and hesitation.

That was why I failed to notice that sound, coming in every direction, almost like the echoes of leaves rustling in the wind.

It was an adult locust. Its abdomen was grey-white in color, and its wings were filled with cracks. It flew screeching into the village, like the dagger of the god of death.

It was only inches away from Aisha by the time I heard the hungry buzzing of its wings—

What the...?

Ugh!

Got there in time... are you alright, Aisha? Looks like a small scratch. I have some herbs here...

Huh...?

Look! That locust on the ground...

Did it... shrivel up?

I saw patterns appear on the ground when it hit the traveler's stone tablet... is that Arts?

Is this the caster you found, Aisha? Are we saved?

I-I'm sorry, I lost control for an instant... I'm sorry...

I didn't mean to...

What are you apologizing for? You knew a way to destroy Originium locusts? Why didn't you tell us?

My mouth was open but I didn't know what to say, so all I could do was stare at Aisha, who was staring at the dead Originium locust on the ground, her eyes filled with surprise and joy.

Wow... you shriveled up a huge bug like that with one hit! That was amazing, Philae!

It's not like that...

Everybody okay?! Get inside! The locusts are on the move!

You come too, traveler.

...So you see, it's not a good power.

But you saved me and took out that locust!

It's the power of death and destruction! It can't heal the village!

Isn't killing the locusts just like healing the forest?

...If I missed by just a little bit, it might have been you who withered, instead of the locust.

But you managed to control it, didn't you?

...Traveler, you're the only sign of hope that we've seen in the last few years.

Your Arts just saved someone. We saw it with our own eyes.

I know it's a lot to ask, but we're desperate for any solution. If you could just try... maybe it'll change something...

I don't know... please, give me some time to think.

*pant* *pant*... no one saw me sneak out, right?

This is... the tree where I took shelter last night. Still no crystals... looks like you survived the Originium locusts for another day.

*sigh* I just don't know what to think... ended up sneaking out when the others split up to find food.

How could I possibly say yes? They'll be even sadder if something happens to the forest, especially Aisha who loves it so much.

I've never used Arts on such a scale, not to mention that I have to be precise and not harm any other living things... ahh, even the thought makes it nervous! I can't do it!

No, I can't just run away quietly. I have to go back and explain to the others that... I just can't do it...

But... what would happen to the village if I left without helping them? Today it was a few locusts. What happens tomorrow?

What do I do, head priest...

Over here! I found her!

What...?

She's here! I think she's trying to run away!

Run away? No, I...

You can't go! If you leave now, my child... you can destroy those locusts! You've already done it once!

Why do you give us hope, if you're not here to help us?

If you really make everything you touch 'wither', why was Aisha unharmed when you picked her up after she fell? I saw it with my own eyes!

I didn't! I can't...

I already explained it...

Uh, why do you keep talking like your ability is some kind of curse? Maybe I should put it another way... can you make that grass wither?

I can't do this to an innocent living thing just to prove something!

If you left now, how would you be different from the other casters who just abandoned us without even trying? Please, don't go...

No! D-Don't touch me!

Is helping us really so hard? We can talk about payment if that's the issue!

No...

Hey! What are you guys doing? Don't press her like this!

I'm sorry, Aisha, but I can't try it on your ancestral forest... I'm scared that it would make things worse for the village...

I don't understand, Philae... Why do you always take a step back?

Huh...?

You wouldn't take my water and kept your distance from me when walking. You said you weren't a poison shaman and said you bring destruction.

Life is not as fragile as you think it is, Philae.

Did I... disappoint everyone again?

Is there a meaning for everyone's existence, head priest? What's the meaning of mine, then?

You said I would find my path. But at the end of the day, my powers can only be used to 'take away life', not 'give it'.

The nature of my powers cannot be changed, no matter how much I try to control myself and my Arts.

The trials that you gave me always led to death... so I learned to control, suppress, stay away.

But what then?

I couldn't let it go, but what could I do...

Poor trees. It must hurt to have crystals growing all over you.

Everyone's heart must have hurt when Aisha stopped the mayor, when the villagers struggled, and when the mayor talked about moving away.

What were you thinking when we looked down at the River of Life, head priest?

I don't want my Arts to take any life... it's the power of destruction, and that which is born in nature should not be ended by this human force...

Head priest, I've never thought of any creature as being inherently evil. Even these locusts might have been innocent victims of the influence of Originium.

But I see and feel even greater pain, and endless destruction.

This land and this forest deserve to live their lives and futures to the fullest.

But the locusts are like a plague, spreading uncontrollably. The pain they brought far exceeds the need for their own survival. Is destruction the sole reason for their existence?

And what about me, head priest? For what purpose do my past, present and future exist?

...No, I must not cry.

The locusts are spreading too fast. If I hesitate any longer, the village, the forest, everything here... these innocent lives have already suffered too much.

The mayor was right. They won't need to live in fear anymore if they move away. There'll be a way, as long as life goes on. There will be new hope in their new home.

Besides... it wouldn't be the mayor's fault that the village's tradition ended, if I was the one who did it.

I can't allow the crystals to continue spreading. I'll take responsibility and help them find a new water source...

Is this the meaning of my existence, head priest?

No time to think. The sun's about to rise.

So I put my hands on the ground and breathed out.

It was quiet all around, but I could feel something gathering in the forest, something struggling violently deep below the surface.

A thin mist began to rise from the ground. It was not cold air, but a curious silence, as time seemed to be suppressed on an invisible waterline by my will.

The crystals began to shatter.

Cracks began to appear on the trees on the outside, spreading from the trunks to the branches. As the last bit of lifeforce was wiped away, the Originium crystals lost their support and fell to the ground.

I heard more sounds of shattering coming from the distance. Head priest, this time I didn't close my eyes, like I did in the previous trials.

I watched as the crystallized trees began to wilt, no longer forced to keep themselves upright; I watched locusts fly out and wither in mid-air, dropping to the ground like falling snow.

Tears streamed from my eyes, rolling silently down towards the ground shaking beneath my hands, into this funeral of my making with no other witness.

Only when there was no other sound in the forest did I pull my hands back. The marks of casting were still there upon them.

Do you know, head priest? I saw them clearly for the first time.

The forest is quiet... no sound of wings buzzing, or Originium crystals growing.

It's over.

May you rest in peace, free from the control of Originium, never again to become an instrument of destruction. May you be free.

I'm sorry, blessed trees. All I can do is lay my hand on you... you're free now, never again to feel pain.

Phew... I'll wait a little longer, then go back to the village and admit what I did...

Huh?

Rustle, rustle.

...The sound of leaves rustling in the wind?

What's going on... some trees are still alive here... and over there...

Don't my Arts cause everything to wither?

How could this be... the destruction that I brought didn't touch every living thing?

How could this be... are you real?

Life is not as fragile as you think it is, Philae.

Shouldn't I help with the rebuilding of the temple?

Hah, worried that we wouldn't do a good job?

N-No, that's not what I mean...

Life is not as fragile as you think it is, Philae.

The River of Life may have inundated the farms on the banks. But the flood will pass, and the sediment it leaves behind will become fertile soil and nurture new life.

The cycle of life goes on.

But that's because it's the River of Life. It always brings new life.

So can you, Philae. You can bring life too. Otherwise, why are we standing here, alive and breathing?

Trust yourself, and trust life. It's not as fragile as you think it is.

Only then did I remember what you said to me before I left, head priest.

I couldn't help but reach out to the trees that still lived. I tried to pull my hand back as I realized what I was doing, when a butterfly landed on my fingertip.

The sun began to rise, casting its light upon the forest, and it was exactly as Aisha said it was.

The butterfly glowed blue like a jewel. It shook its feelers a couple of times, then flew away without withering.

Do you know, head priest? My fingertip... itched a little. I discovered that the feeling of being near a living thing was itchy.

Well, it's time to leave. The weather is good. That's a good start.

This will be far enough, Aisha.

Are you sure you just want some writing tools and paper? I made these rations. Take it with you.

I'll be fine, I have enough on me.

Besides, I never cleared up the misunderstanding with the other villagers... I never did any 'cleansing'. I can't accept gifts that I don't deserve.

You priests are so humble... don't forget to write to me, then! And tell me when you figure out where you're going.

Yes, I will. Before that, though, I need to write home. Thanks to you guys, I've made discoveries that I can't wait to share—

I apologize, head priest, but I need to say this again—I'm going on a journey again. Farewell.

There are still a lot of things that I don't understand, but I think I've figured out why I'm setting out on this journey, what I'm looking for, and what I can do, not just for the answer, but also to come to terms with myself.

I locked my own possibilities away in a little box. I was afraid to touch it, and afraid that it would touch others. That's why I was confused and hesitant.

But the events of the past several days made me realize that it's okay to touch...