bibeak

Er, yeah, thanks.

Thanks...

I...

(They think I'm someone who repays a bad deed with a good one.)

(They think that I'm a good person, a kind person.)

(They like and respect me for that. They're holding a send-off party for someone like that.)

(They admire how I'm making clothes for someone who hurt me.)

(Mom and Dad always taught me to be dignified and well-mannered. So I should be happy for who I am now.)

(Am I?)

(Is this the Bibeak I wanted to be?)

(Do I... like myself like this?)

Bibeak feels a burning sensation as she gazes upon the smiles on the everyone's faces.

Their laughter seems jarring, the lights blinding, the teacup scorching. She feels the urge to smash something.

Her hand trembles, and the cup falls to the ground, startling her with the noise.

No one saw clearly what had happened, only its aftermath, with broken pieces and tea spilled all over the ground.

Oh! What happened...?

Are you okay, Bibeak?

Gee, Bibeak, you're so excited to go home you can't even hold your cup?

(It's not that...)

Well, as they say in Yan: Break a cup, break a trouble. Sounds like everything's gonna be great!

Don't worry about it. This is <i>your</i> send-off party. You sit right there, and I'll go get you a new cup.

Ah, watch out! Lemme clean this up first.

(Did I... just catch a glimpse of my true feelings?)

Bibeak...

What's the matter?

I-It's nothing. I just lost my grip.

Let's keep going. I didn't spill anything on anyone, did I?

I'll clean it up. I see some broken pieces by my feet, and I have the best view of it.

Huh? You sure?

Well, I'm just glad you're okay. That spooked me there.

I just lost my grip. It's fine.

(Now I understand. I <i>don't</i> like myself like this.)

I... I really appreciate you all for holding this send-off for me. Some of you I've fought alongside, and some of you I've made clothes with.

These past few years have been the best of my life.

(I really appreciate all of you, and your sincere best-wishes.)

I'll tell my parents how great the friends I've made here are, such warm and kind people who held a going away party for me.

(I've... made my decision. This time, I won't regret it.)

Well, the ship hasn't stopped yet. Shall we continue?

Have a safe trip! Enjoy yourself!

Bon voyage!

I packed you these snacks, in case you get hungry on the way!

Stay safe!

Thank you, everyone! Bye!

Yes, I made an application and was approved for a visit from 1500 to 1530 hours.

May I see the confirmation letter?

Looks like everything is in order. Follow me, please.

Okay.

There's just a little more paperwork to do.

While we wait for the confirmation letter to be verified, I'll need you to read and acknowledge the prison visitation rules.

Okay.

I'll also need you to fill in your legal name and information on this visitor's form.

Okay.

Finally, please go over these safety rules while we get the prisoner ready. You'll be taken to the visiting room once everything is set up.

Thank you.

Phew...

Finally.

Five minutes.

Ten minutes.

Twenty minutes.

The tea is now cold, and time seems to slow down during the wait for the jailer to return.

Everything's ready. Please sign the safety rules, and I'll take you to the visiting room.

Alright, thank you.

...You're here, kind lady!

You read my letter, didn't you? You listened to me and decided to give yourself a chance for us to put the past to rest and find peace!

The doctor was right. I should forgive myself and let my issues go. I found peace, and so can you!

Thank you so much, kind lady!

Bibeak silently hands over a package.

Is this for me?

...What's this? A letter... my letter to you? Why did you bring it back?

He extends his hands in excitement, trying to squeeze them through the window's gaps to touch Bibeak's trembling hands.

His gaze meets hers.

She opens her mouth and utters a single phrase.

Never forgive.

Then she stands up, turns around, and leaves the visiting room.

She hears the sound of the prisoner banging on the glass, and sees the guards rush into the room. The sounds fade away until she no longer hears them, nor does she care to.

Bibeak heads through the long hallway and goes outside.

It is a beautiful day. She looks at the clear skies and exhales.