humus

Do I speak into this? Hello? Hello!

There's no need to smack it, Mr. Humus. We've set it up for you.

Just an old habit from working on my gadgets. Sometimes there's a loose part so you have to smack 'em to get 'em to work.

Well, you shouldn't have to worry about that here at the exhibition. It's being sponsored by the top tech firms in Trimounts.

Er...

(I can't exactly tell her I was being cheap so I used a bunch of second-hand parts...)

Oh, right... did you have a question?

Yes, getting back on topic... Your participation here has drawn a lot of attention. Many people are exceptionally... curious, about your experiences and what you've made.

Well, then I should introduce the gadgets I have with me here!

First, this automatic clothes hanger. We've all forgotten about clothes we left out to dry, right? And sometimes they just get dirty again.

So I modified this hanger to fold up your clothes once it senses they're dry enough, and then this device down here tosses 'em into the wardrobe.

Like that!

Whoops, it caught your camera? Sorry, let me recalibrate it and try again.

There's a long story behind this hanger. I made it to help the elderly and disabled—

Ahem... the demonstration can wait, Mr. Humus. I have a few other questions for you first.

I noticed you used the word 'modify' to describe your product, rather than 'invent,' like everyone else.

Did I? I said 'modify'?

Yes, you did. What I wanted to ask is: Did you get permission from the patent holder before modifying it?

Huh? I bought them as a pack at the supermarket for ten bucks.

Did you now?

I... I...

I see you didn't even consider that before 'modifying' your product.

I-I guess I didn't...

Does your background have anything to do with your lack of awareness of intellectual property rights?

W-What does that have to do with anything? They were just ordinary clothes hangers!

In Trimounts, there can be extraordinary value in the most ordinary things, Mr. Humus.

Er... you're right! Absolutely. I agree.

...Then shouldn't you respect the rights of the patent holder?

I-I've never had to deal with that kind of stuff...

Would it be correct to assume that you have virtually no understanding of patents because of your years of penal service on the frontier?

I... I mean, I know what they are, at least...

Then do you mean to say that you <i>do</i> understand patents, but intentionally—

Excuse me, ma'am, but I have urgent business with this big fellow here.

Oh... very well.

Should I come back to finish the interview later? I haven't said everything I wanted to.

(Whisper) Just go! Don't you understand? She just wants to tear you apart.

It wasn't <i>that</i> bad. It was nothing compared to the sort of stuff you hear all the time on the frontier.

You're just... Never mind.

Are you Mr. Humus? It's such an honor to meet you. Chris talks about you all the time.

Let me introduce you to my university professor. I sent him the files on the stuff you made at Rhodes Island.

A professor? Oh my god, I'm so excited to meet someone so intellectual!

No need to be humble, sir. I looked through what Chris sent me, and was amazed at the creativity they demonstrated.

Aw, that was just some scrap I threw together. But you can see my latest stuff at my display.

No need to rush, Mr. Humus, I'll be here all day. But there's something I should tell you first.

Well, now you're scaring me. Where I'm from, that's what people say when they're about to deliver bad news.

Hahaha, quite the opposite, my friend!

Although there were more than a few rough edges in what I've seen of your work, company management was flabbergasted by some of the optimizations you made.

(Whisper) Flabber-what now...?

(Whisper) They were amazed.

Aw, shucks...

We've had an eye out for new ways to conserve and recycle resources, and your energy-saving module is precisely what we're looking for.

So you want to...?

We want to help you continue to improve the module and apply it to our products. You will, of course, be appropriately compensated. What do you think?

How could I say no to that?! Getting recognized for my work is a dream come true, not to mention you're a friend of Chris.

Excellent. I like people who are easy to do business with.

Guess I better jot down all the thoughts and experiences I had on the way. Wouldn't wanna embarrass myself at the presentation, after all.

Regarding that... there's another tiny matter I must discuss with you.

I'm all ears!

We'd like to ask you to remain behind the scenes, and allow... others to go public with this technology.

But why? I'm the one who made it. Would anyone else even know how to describe it?

I'm simply saying it would be announced under somebody else's name. You won't be required to present anything. But don't worry, you will receive full compensation.

But I wanted to talk about my experience inventing it... All the fun stuff that went into it.

What I mean is... we would like to separate your identity from your work.

You mean people'll use the stuff I make, but won't know it was me?

Does that really matter? You'll have your money.

I'm not so sure about this, prof. All the credit would go to the one who lent their name to it.

Well, we have to think about the company's image. Mr. Humus's past is a little... complicated, after all.

Hey! What's that supposed to—

Humus raises his voice, as though someone just stepped on his toes.

He then realizes that everyone in the room has their eyes on him.

Seeing everyone keep their distance and avert their gazes, Humus swallows what he was about to say.

Don't judge people by their cover, prof. I've spent a lot of time with Humus this past year, and I guarantee you he's not that kind of guy!

Chris...

Not to mention he was imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit.

(Pats the engineer's shoulder)

Thanks for having my back, bro, but there's no need to get mad. I'm sure your professor didn't mean it like that.

Yes, there's no need to get agitated, Chris.

This decision was made out of purely practical considerations. I assure you I have nothing against Mr. Humus himself.

Well, sir, I'm glad you think so highly of my ability, and if you're willing to buy, I'm willing to sell. But there are a lot of folks here. How 'bout we find some time to talk after the exhibition?

Certainly. It was a pleasure meeting you. We'll speak later.

Humus...

Thanks, bro. I'll buy you lunch once I've got the cash. Just keep it cheap.

Hmm... This wasn't what I had in mind when Chris said there'd be free food here.

How am I supposed to fill my belly with snacks the size of my fingernail?

Excuse me, you got any meat?

We have meatballs with berry sauce right over there, sir.

Not that tiny stuff. Anything bigger?

I'm sorry, sir, but we're only serving hors d'oeuvre and drinks today.

Hors d'...? N-Never mind.

Well, I guess snacks are better than nothing.

Mm, this dessert ain't half bad... No wonder the girls always go for sweets when they're in a bad mood.

It really does pick you right up.

Ooh, this cookie is great! If only it was bigger.

And this mini burger... yum!

Man, this cupcake is amazing!

This exhibition is going down the drain. Just look at the riff-raff you're letting in now.

Who might you be referring to?

That man from the frontier processing station, of course. Who else?

Oh, him... Did you see his display? I was too busy to visit.

I took a look. All scrap, not even worth my time.