act10d5

真理 被选择的

It's plugged in.

Is it recording? 'Test. Test.'

Seems all right.

Now what should I say?

Ahem.

Closure lent me this device for the purposes of... Well, the application says 'recording self-diagnosis and treatment of trauma using exposure therapy and related methods.'

A mouthful indeed.

It is a very simple machine to operate. I just check that the battery is charged, toggle this switch... And now it will record automatically.

Phew...

(Talking to yourself is so difficult.)

(I honestly thought it would be easier to just open up to a screen.)

When I asked about alleviating or at least controlling my symptoms, the medical staff suggested this...

'Why not try talking it through with yourself...?' They made it sound so easy.

Okay, we have video now. Not that I'll be showing this to anyone. Not that I would ever want to show this to anyone.

Calm down, Istina. No need to be nervous. We're all friends here. Just speak your mind. Let it out.

All those things you've been unable to share with others, you can say to yourself. Over and over again.

It's certainly a feasible idea.

So let's take us back...

While it may seem like there's nothing wrong, I know, sooner or later, we will have to deal with this. With so much.

I know that Gummy and Natalya can never forget those things. What happened in the school... what happened after we left the school... No one could forget.

And Zima, she... I think she has been having nightmares recently. Leto seems like she was able to let it go, but... can someone ever truly let it go?

As for me? I believe I can face up to it. But can I, actually...?

No one will speak of it. But somehow we will have to come to terms with it, in the end.

...Still hard.

Phew... all right. I do think I am starting to get used to it though.

Let's begin, for real this time.

I suppose I'll introduce myself first?

(Deep breath)

I am called 'Istina'——This is, of course, a codename. My true name is Anna Morozova.

Mmm. It's a name I've not heard in a long time. It is my name, of course, but it feels somewhat unfamiliar. How strange.

This is Vika. A good friend of mine.

Vika was my best friend before I joined the Student Self-Governing Group.

Now I live at the headquarters of an organization called Rhodes Island, where I am classified as part of the 'Ursus Student Self-government Group.'

Mm. This group was my idea, but it was Zima who truly founded it. And while we are indeed independent, at the moment there are only five of us.

Zima, Natalya, Leto, Gummy, and myself.

There used to be more. But we are the only ones left.

Ah, of course, Vika is also a member.

We currently serve as 'Operators' for this Rhodes Island... I suppose it's a kind of job.

I don't mind it. Fair pay for fair work.

Zima has no plans to leave, for the time being. And although she does not speak her mind, I know she is satisfied here. And from time to time, I find myself thinking it would be nice to stay.

...Phew.

The truth is, while we're all together now, we did not come from the same school.

Gummy, Natalya, and I attended the same high school. Zima and Leto went to another one.

Oh, but Zima was sort of famous, even at our school. In fact, every student in the district knew about her.

I suppose she is something of a born leader. I recognize that she was the right choice to lead us.

Reunion found us defenseless and occupied Chernobog, our city.

Then some... things... happened. Reunion took a handful of kids from our school, me among them, and marched us over to Zima's campus.

There may have been students from other schools there too. I'm not certain. It was a chaotic time.

It's still not clear why they did it. But it was all orchestrated by the white-haired boy leading that Reunion outfit.

I think he may have been even younger than us? I don't know.

I got the impression he had to convince the other leaders to round up the students, at which point they locked us inside Zima's school.

Looking back now, it all seems ridiculous.

We were locked in there for maybe two weeks, and...

Anna!

Phew! Thank heaven it's you.

Pull me up, Anna.

...Anna?

...and we fought.

We fought within the sealed-up school. And when we managed to escape from it, we fought in the city blocks of Chernobog.

Every one of us has something we must come to terms with.

We——

(It wouldn't be Gummy this early. Who could it be...?)

Just a minute.

(I think I'll just leave the recording running. I don't want to worry about saving and closing it.)

Who is it?

It's me!

Who?

Huh? I'm surprised at you, Junior Detective Istina! How could you not recognize my voice? Are you playing dumb?

Could you keep it down?

And I've told you a thousand times, I'm not your junior detective.

Hah. You two are getting along nicely.

Good afternoon, Anna. I'm here to bother you too.

...Eh?

Natalya?

Tea.

Ah, thank you!

Mmm...It smells fantastic. A fine tea indeed!

By the way, you took quite a while to open the door. Are you busy, Istina? Are we interrupting you?

We could always come back later. I really only came to return this book.

I'm not busy. Don't worry about it.

Not with anything pressing anyway.

Oh...?

Relax. If Anna says we're not bothering her, we're not bothering her.

Anna doesn't lie about things like that, now does she?

Hehe. Glad to hear it!

Oh, but I never expected you were the type to lock your door. How cautious.

And handy! That kind of caution will serve a junior detective well!

I've been very clear with you that I'm not interested in this junior detective nonsense.

And besides, I just happened to have a reason to lock the door this time.

But I'd think you are the type to lock your door, actually. Anna's always been the most cautious of us.

Don't tease me, Natalya.

Heh heh. I just can't help myself with that adorable face of yours.

...*Sigh*.

Anyway, it's quite nice that you take high tea in the afternoon. As it should be!

You really have a thing for tea, huh...? Your face, with that expression, it reminds me of freshly browned toast.

What? What's that supposed to mean?!

I suppose it means you look silly.

Oh? How dare you? That's over the line!

Hmph. No matter! Look how magnanimous your senior detective is. I even brought you biscuits!